Last night I wrote out some thoughts regarding hopes and fears. Thought I would be the first to share them on this awesome blog! Thanks so much Jenn for putting this together. Love you girls!
I think for our generation, fear is a term that is both common and yet foreign. Eight years ago, on September 11th, our country was “rocked”. Faith was shaken, certainty thrown out the window and as a result, we, a nation that once prided its young self on being indestructible, awoke to a new reality of fear. The truth is, fear penetrates our daily lives in ways indescribable and too often leaves us changed. For me, fear dominated the majority of my childhood in ways that have left me scared and broken. The damage that was done due to the absence of certainty completely changed me. Yet, I would be lying to say the presence of fear has not made me stronger. My story is no different than many people at TNL. “I was once lost, but now I am found, was blind but now I see.” I am just a girl...a girl who strives to be known but is scared to death to let anyone see inside my heart. I am passionately seeking a life of comfort and stability, yet lost in a world that seeks to take that away. I am not into games and my deepest fear is trust. I believe we live to chase love and when we find it, we run.
We are no different than those Israelites who came back from exploring the Promise Land (Numbers 13). The fear they experienced overshadowed the beauty of God’s promise to them. Too often, that becomes our story. We loose sight of God’s promises to take care of us and provide for us. The hope we once experienced becomes obsolete and seems diminutive compared to the fear staring us in the face. Often, it is during these times we lack the maturity to take that step of faith and trust in His promises. “The Lord has promised good to me/His word my hope secures/ He will my shield and portion be/As long as life endures.”
I would love to hear some of your thoughts on your own hopes and fears...
Jyndia
girl...thanks for starting the blog off! I love you thoughts.This last weekend our pastor talked about really believeing that God is going to come through in your life and I think that is a constant struggle. Its part of being human I believe.
ReplyDeleteHe also talked aboutstruggles building your maturity.. All these words are good and dandy until you are in the mess. I do believe that once you make it through it will make sense on the flip side.
I would love to hear more about "chasing love". I do believe that there is something in us that doesn't want to be alone. It is part of who we are.. although I don't understand the run. I believe there is fear in most decisions made. Fear of the unknown.... I know that at times pushing through the fear makes the reward so much greater...I think with anything great there is always some fear or challenge but that is part of the reward.. I don't know girl.. I know I love you long time tho! Hope school is treating you well
To be honest, I think sometime the fear is too great. We long to be fulfilled in life and grow up dreaming anything is possible. But the longer we live and the deeper we get into the complexities of life, the more impossible some of our dreams seem. I think you are right in saying often waiting and/or pushing through fear makes the reward much greater. But the problem with that is, you find yourself staring fear in the face. And that is where "running" comes in... All too often we spend our time longing for what is not within our reach. But we have been conditioned since birth that if you believe in something strongly, it is possible to obtain. But what about love?
ReplyDeleteLove is one of those ambiguous things that everyone needs and wants, but rarely do we know what to do with it when we finally experience it. In life, we have so many examples of what love is not. We grow up in broken homes... We grow up watching our friends suffer at the expense of "love"... We find that more suffering exists in the hands of "love" and seeing that is cause enough to run.
I know I have a long way to go before I see "love" in a different light. I am committed to the process that therefore understand the time it may take. I feel like that is a bleak answer to why we run, but at the same time... the most honest.
Jyndia