I cry

I cry because I don't feel like I can call you. I think twice when I pick up the phone and most of the time I put it back down.

Because life has changes for you

Because I love you

Because I never want to see you hurt and I want this to be forever. don't ever call me with bad news on this one

Because experience has taught me that this kind of "change" is not so much change as it is the end

Because I will no longer be the one sharing all the inside jokes with you

Because even if you didn't want things to change they have to

Because I feel guilty that I don't want to know this person more

Because you took the time to get to know me. You cared for me unlike anyone that I have ever had in my life

Because you loved me for me

Because I feel like our friendship lays in my hands and I don't want to fight for a new version of our friendship

Because I worry about you

Because I haven't seen you in a year and I don't know when I will see you again

Because I haven't gotten the usual "I'm sorry I forgot your Birthday" call that I have grown to love

Friend... I fear for you this means that the gaps of time that we don't talk becomes longer. I fear that you will fall into that pattern where you feel bad that its been so long that you don't call anymore. Friend. I cry because that night you were celebrating a new beginning, I realized it was the end of us.

I cry because the one person I want to talk to about this is the one that I can't.

I will not fight for it if you don't. If you don't call I will move on because I have to. From the bottom of my heart I wish the best for you. I don't know what I would have done without you. And this is not goodbye to you forever, just goodbye to this version of us. Some of the walls have to come up again. I am sorry that you may not know why. This is how it has to be for me to move on. This is my closure.

See you when I see you buddy.